Electric Coffee
by Dougie Zerts
Summary: AKA Stoned at CONTROL! This has cameos by Larabee and Dr. Steele.
1\. The Chief

Max came back to CONTROL headquarters after a successful mission, one afternoon. After dropping down the phone booth, he reported to the Chief's office.

The chief was staring out into space. A cup of coffee was on his desk.

"Hi, Chief. The Fields Mission was a complete success!" The Chief didn't respond. "Are you all right, Chief?"

"I see it all!," he said quietly.

"You do?"

"Yes. Life. . . The universe. . . Purple haze!"

"Are you all right, Chief?"

"I am wonderful!" He drank from the cup. "This is the best coffee I've ever tasted! Have some, Max."

"Uh, no thanks! I'll be right back."

2\. 99

He went to 99's office. She was sitting with her feet, which were bare-propped up on the desk. There was also a cup of coffee there. Seeing him, she smiled.

"Hi, Maxy-Baby!"

"'Maxy-Baby?'"

She got up, walked over to him, and gave him a big hug. "I'm so glad you're back!"

"Er, thank you. Are you all right, 99?"

"I'm incredible!" She went to her desk and drank from the cup. "Have some coffee, Max."

"No thank you. I'll be right back." He left her office.

3\. Larabee

He started hearing someone singing in a loud toneless voice. He went to investigate.

It was Larabee singing "My Way!" Seeing Max, he said, "Hi Max! Why don't you join me in a chorus?"

"Uh, that's OK. Have you noticed people acting strangely, around here?"

"Strangely?"

"The Chief is staring out into space, and 99 has taken her shoes and socks off."

"Doesn't sound strange to me. In fact, it sounds like a good idea!"

Larabee also took his shoes and socks off! Then he drank from a coffee cup that was on his desk.

"Best coffee I've ever drank! Why don't you have some?"

"No, thanks. I've got to go."

"See you later, alligator!"

He put his feet on the desk and continued singing. Max left.

"Dr. Steele," he said to himself. "Perhaps she knows what's going on."

4\. Dr. Steele

He went to her office, but she wasn't there. So he walked down the hallways looking for her. Finally, he walked into one of the labs.

It contained a large tank of water. And in the tank was Dr. Steele!

"Hi, Dr. Steele. What are you doing in a tank of water with all your clothes on?  
"I'm training to be a synchronized swimmer. Here, watch this!"

She floated in the water and kicked her stocking-clad left foot up. She held it for a few seconds.

"How's that?"

"Er, nice."

At that moment, 99 came into the room-still barefooted.

Dr. Steele smiled. "99, darling!"

"Hi, Dr. Steele! How's the water?"

"Wonderful! Join me."

"All right." There was a cup on a nearby table. "Is that some of the divine coffee?"

"Yes. Have some."

"Don't mind of I do."

She drank it down. Then she got into the tank with Dr. Steele! They hugged and cavorted in the water.

"Join us, Maxy!," said 99.

"Uh, no thank you. I'll be right back."

He left the lab.

"The coffee! There must be something wrong with it," he said to himself.

5\. The Coffee Salesman

At that moment, he saw a man walking down the corridor. The man had a coffee-brown uniform on and wheeled a cart. Seeing Smart, he stopped.

"Hello, sir. Would you like some coffee? It's a very special brew."

"A special brew?"

"That's right."

"Yes, I think I'll try some."

The man opened a slot in the cart. Then he poured coffee into a cup and gave it to Max. But instead of drinking it, Max splashed it on the man!

The man attacked Max. They punched and wrestled for a couple minutes. But in the end, Max was able to knock him out.  
6\. Afterward

Realizing he couldn't handle this problem on his own, Max called a doctor who did work for CONTROL. The doctor came and gave the stoned agents an antidote. The coffee seller was arrested and taken away.

"Max, I am very proud of you," said the Chief.

"Thanks, Chief."

"In fact, you might make Agent of the Year for this."

"Wow, that will be a first, for me! Chief, would you mind if I check on 99?"

"Sure, Max."

"Thanks!"

99 was back in her office. Dr. Steele was with her. Both women put their shoes back on, but still had on their wet clothes. However, towels were around their shoulders.

99 hugged him. "Max, thank you for saving us! Who knows what may have happened if you hadn't!"

"From what I was observing, the breast stroke! How are you, Dr. Steele?"

"Much better, thanks. I think that was a hallucinogen he gave us."

"I see. Well, I'll bet you don't often go swimming with your clothes on!"

The girls both laughed.

"Oh, Max would you mind not telling anyone about this whole thing? It's a little embarrassing."

"Mum's the word, 99."

"Thanks."


End file.
